If you goof up, you’re supposed to offer some kind of excuse. People expect it. So excuses can be lame, colorful, awkward, hardly believable and downright laughable.

But be careful who you laugh at. Some seemingly far-out excuses really happened.

People really gave the following excuses — and the cover stories checked out when a doctor, insurance company or some other authority figure followed up. (So, again, we are not making any of this up; this stuff really happened.)

Top Ten Reasons I Missed My Plastic Surgery

10. My car hit a stray bowling ball on the highway and I spent the morning jacking up my car and trying to explain it the insurance company.

9. The police impounded my car; your surgical paperwork and payment was locked in the glove box.

8. I live on a farm and my newborn pet pig fell down a heating duct so I had to take the furnace apart to get the squealing piglet out.

7. The door on an armored car in front of me flew open and thousands of bills went flying, causing a massive traffic jam and ensuing riot when everybody got out of their cars to chase the bills.

6. I missed my surgery appointment because a band of Greenpeace protestors laid down in front of traffic and would not move until all whaling is banned.

5. I could not show up for surgery because when I got up, all my goldfish were floating upside down. That always means an earthquake is coming so I stayed home.

4. The paperwork for my operation was left on the stove. One of the kids turned a knob and it got burned up.

3. My payment for the surgery was on that armored car that got hijacked.

2. I did not show up for surgery because I thought Halloween was a holiday.

1. I did not show for my surgery because I walked into a convenience store robbery and got locked up overnight in the basement along with the store clerk.

The surgeon chuckled that one off as a Liar’s Hall of Fame thigh slapper but quickly choked on his laugher when he saw the story about the holdup on the evening T.V. news!

Make sure you don’t miss your plastic surgery operation!Next time: The world’s biggest hand (pre-surgery) and the largest tummy tuck operation ever done.

Plus, the first woman to have implants back in 1962 lead the way for over two million other American women. But back in 1962, she didn’t want larger breasts — she only wanted to get her large ears pinned back!

–Charlene